It’s hard being married without children. I know that seems like a weird thing to say, especially for a person who has always wanted children, but it feels like the truth. As selfish as it may seem, my wife and I just aren’t ready for children yet. We both have professional goals and personal dreams we aren’t quite ready to put on hold to be the kind of parents we’d like to be; and it’s hard to admit that to people but it’s the truth.
We’ve been married three and a half years. We’ve learned so much about each other as husband and wife during these first few years that I’m not quite sure we’d have ever figured out about ourselves if we were raising children. When my wife and I were dating, we lived in different states, so the time together alone was needed for the two of us. We never really enjoyed quality time physically those first years. However, with each passing day that excuse begins to wear thin as we creep up on seven years together as a couple because our mothers want grandbabies lol.
Of course we get the natural questions from friends and family about when we may think of starting a family and I tell them all the time; ‘I just don’t know. ‘ But here is something I do know, it’s hard being the last one up to bat so to speak. With each passing year more and more of my close friends begin having children; some already working on their second or third child. In the back of my mind I always had dreams of our children growing up, going to school and playing together. You know, you kind of wish you children have your friends children as peers. I guess I missed that boat, but I figure it’s alright. My children may not be able to play with Ashley’s, but I guess I’ll just have to settle for big brother/babysitter types.
It’s hard being married without children, but it’s a little easier when you have friends who you can live through vicariously, learn parenting tips and gain quality experience from. It’s the little things that matter, especially to the ones without little ones to come home too.
Richard Lawrence, along with his wife Nicole, have been married three and a half years (wed 9.19.09) and currently reside in Columbus, Ohio. The two decided to combine their love of marriage and writing to create the Facebook page YoungBlackAndMarried, in October of 2010. Their mission is to encourage healthy, happy and loving relationships amongst young adults through sharing advice, quotes and personal stories from themselves and others.In February 2013 the two founded the website Forever: Young, Black and Married, in hopes of further sharing their message of love with people worldwide.